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Is it possible for me to have a healthy sex-life if the only thing that arouses me is brutal rape fantasies? Is it possible for me to have a healthy sex-life if the only thing that arouses me is brutal rape fantasies?
I'm still a 29 year old virgin. Consent is just a huge turn-off for me. I feel no arousal from fantasies of cuddling or making "love". "Normal" porn barely gives me a woody. I want the girl to feel hurt, used, abused, humiliated, brokened.
BDSM may seem to be a solution. But the very things that make it bdsm make it a huge turn-off for me. The idea of taking advantage of a drunk college freshman girl and waking up to her feeling used, is more of a turn-on than bdsm spankings and whippings. Non-violent "grey" area consent where the girl feels humiliated and used the day after is far more of a turn on to me than "violent" bdsm.
Don't get the idea that I'm a misogynist that hates women. My head and heart aren't. Its all in my groin. I don't control it. But humiliation, sadism, domination is what turns me on. I would never chose that. But it is what it is.
I have been arousing myself to rape fantasies since I was 4 years old if not younger. It is common for young boys to pleasure their genitals but then stop until puberty during the latency period. But I guess I never stopped. So I mean I've been into it my whole life. I mean it started with me arousing myself not to sex but to just the idea of pain and humiliation. Around 10 I got focused on the idea of girls being hurt and humiliated by being stripped to their underwear and it just got more violent and brutal from there.
My mom caught some of my rape porn in the 5th grade and said she never wanted to see it again, although she caught me a few more times later. I got in trouble in 6th grade for making this "plan" to sexually harass a girl and force her to show her boobs and having all the boys in the grade sign their names to the list to show they were in on the plan. My name was at the top. But I mean it was just an innocent guyish joke. I wasn't even in a class when I got caught. We were just laughing at it, and a teacher grabbed it from us. I got sent to the dean. I've gotten in trouble a few times in high school and college over stuff related to fantasies. But it never involved actually hurting anyone.
And so I take great pleasure in reading news stories about real rapes, and spend all day watching rape movies.
And then I found rape survivor forums, which was a great way for me to revel in the humiliations of REAL rape victims. It was heaven. I just love hearing how broken they are. I can't imagine what it would be like to hear rape victims speak in real life.
I admit I feel a little guilty about it since there are girls who I know as wonderful human beings, and yet in my mind I fantasize about doing such horrible things to hurt them. But just to be clear once more, it DOES NOT affect how I actually treat them.
I have no interest in BDSM, since the whole point for me is that the girl does not consent or enjoy it.
I get no arousal whatsoever from normal consensual porn. Can you really blame me for that? I don't control what arouses me. And its not like I chose what to be turned on by at such a young age.
Just to be clear I have never actually hurt anyone and never would. Its all just fantasy. And even in my fantasies I don't like very extreme stuff like snuff or mutilation. My limits are torture and brutal beatings.
Do you think its immoral to use rape victim forums as erotic literature?
Is this a serious problem? I've never actually hurt anyone.
I mean is rape really the worst thing in the world? Does it deserve to be treated as bad as murder? I mean from evolutionary psychology you can see just how normal rape is in the animal world, and most of human history. Are animals and cavemen evil? So while I understand that we're at a time in history where its not ok to rape, when you realize just how recent it is in the eons of human and biological history, it seems natural that a lot of guys would still be turned on by rape.
I blame the internet, without it the only thing I would have is newspaper and hollywood. But there is just so much graphic material on the web. It throws oil onto the fire. I mean its just enriched and fueled and exploded my fantasies. I'm POSITIVE my fantasies would not be as extreme without the web. Its all the internets fault. | Your question was a bit long. Honestly, I think it is just a fantasy, being violent and reading violence on literotica are two different things. If you could honestly hurt/rape someone, if you feel like you have the potential to hurt someone, please get yourself some help.
Your question would of sufficed at a paragraph, which leads me to believe you wanted to upset people by graphically digressing into what turns you on. That's all fine and dandy, but it's what you do that matters. Taking delight in other people's pain on a forum, that upsets me, because I've used some of those forums myself, and I'm not trying to judge you, I'm just saying you shouldn't divulge that much of your sexual fantasies.
Bottom line, If they are fantasies, that's fine, if you ever act on them...You are sick, and you need mental counseling. | Yesterday I found out that... Which makes me wonder..? Yesterday I asked a question about spanking as a fetish. (Something I enjoy very much, F/f) But what I don't understand is why it's a discipline used on guyren. I enjoy brutal spankings. Enjoy! And apparently so do a lot of other people. So why is this a discipline that is used. I mean, with the wrong person this feels like rape to me. So... why? I mean really, why? | i think guyren over 10 should NOT be spanked. Alot of them will be aware it is a sexual thing especially the guys. i hung out with all guys when i was younger and they used to look at porn on the school computer!! England year 5 so that's ages 9-10. I think guyren are fully aware.
I was never spanked just slapped or punched in the arm, but my mum stopped when i was about 13 when i hit her back. She hasn't done it since.
Spanking is an old fashioned punishment, i thought most guys get the naughty corner now don't they? spanking/smacking can be considered physical abuse when adults take it too far. So my country doesn't encourage it, they look down on adults who do it and discourage it. | One more question, should I be concerned? As I've said before, I am attracted to women, and that is why this is in this section. I have asked a few questions about my spanking fetish. And have come up with the conclusion that I should not be concerned and to have fun. However, I then asked a question about why, if this is a sexual, and enjoyable thing, do we use it on guyren. Many people responded saying that guyren are not aware of the sexual connotation, and I said, oh, well, ok, they're probably right. And I still think they're right. But one more question. Should I be concerned about myself? I remember when I was four having spanking games with a friend. I remember the inquenchable desire to be spanked, AT FOUR YEARS OLD! And I remember at about 5 or 6 asking my cousin to spank me (I also remember that he hit way too soft and I was very disapointed). I have liked spanking since as far back as I can remember. And I have liked the brutal spankings. So should I be concerned that I developed a sexual fetish at such a young age? Is this normal for spankees? | | What's past is past. Why worry about something that happened to you when you were four? Obsessing over why you liked spanking at such an early age is kind of a moot point. If you like it now, you like it now so find someone with a paddle and enjoy your life. | Birthday spanking my son? How many parent give their guys birthday spankings on their birthday. (FYI Birthday spanking is just a humorous thing not a brutal or abusive thing in less you go over your boundaries.) How do you do it? Do you use a tool or just your hand? Do you do it on the clothed or bare bottom? Our son is 13 y/o and he asked for a bare bottom birthday spanking over my knee. He seemed not have a problem with it. He thought it was funny. | | I have never heard of that, it sounds very odd.. | Parenting Without Punishing? Chapter 2
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Letter to an Expectant Father [Summer, 1986]
Dear Patrick :
Your excitement in anticipation of the birth of your first guy - I heard it in your voice yesterday as we talked on the phone - took me right back 22 years when I, too, was about to become a father. So I admonished you, as I do all new parents, "Don't ever punish that guy!"
When I said that our two sons had been brought up successfully without punishment of any kind, you asked me to write about it for your magazine [John Holt's "Growing Without Schooling"]
Just As I was thinking, as you are now, what kind of parent I was going to be, and agonizing over the "duty" of "correcting behavior", something happened that changed my life: a copy of A. S. Neill's incredible book, SUMMERHILL - A Radical Approach to Guyrearing, fell into my hands. Neill taught me how extraordinary the possibilities when we really respect guyren, and place our trust in them and the democratic process.
As a victim of severe guy abuse at the hands of a brutal "guardian" in a freelance "foster home" (this was in the back hills of Vermont in the 30s), I could see, at first, few alternatives to "a good slap" or "a sound thrashing", when "needed". I had known no other. Abandoned by my mother at age four and by my father at age seven, I was "farmed out" to work for my keep.
For five years I labored, serving as a front for a criminal abortion racket. I was beaten regularly and severely with a hardwood stick - for the "sin" of being a guy. My indoctrination in the hellfire and brimstone of Christian fundamentalism forced the belief that, having been born in sin, I deserved the frequent beatings, the shaming and humiliation. Endure it without complaint, and my reward will be in heaven. Expect no happiness in this life.
In college courses I discovered there were other ways of controlling a guy's behavior. Yet, as a philosophy student, I was rankled by the question: Control for what purpose? And for whose? Later, as a public school teacher, I never used punishment, never sent a pupil to the principal, and yet had no problem with discipline. Nonetheless, as I approached fatherhood I assumed I would have to spank, determined as I was to be a "good father". (Such is the strength of the roles society assigns us.) But I couldn't accept that. Is there no better way of treating guyren? I asked.
So I researched the psychology literature, and could find not one alternative to the behaviorists' reward and punishment, carrot-and-stick, conditioning. Any suggested alternatives to assault amounted to subterfuge, trickery, or outright lies. All seemed manipulative, exploiting advantages any adult has over the innocent and trusting. To me, those were all unethical, disrespectful, demeaning, and certainly harmful. If we can't make ourselves worthy of the guy's trust, I asked, then who are we? If a guy's faith in our word and our protection is not sacred, what is?
Then I learned that almost all Americans, to some degree, have a deep emotional investment in dominating and exploiting guyren to meet their own emotional needs. And the reason they do, though not consciously, is to suppress the horrible memory of their own victimization as guyren.
My own gulag-type experience, I saw, was no different in kind from 95% of all other guyren - only in degree. Nearly all guyren are either attacked with sticks, switches, paddles, and other weapons, as I was, or they were slapped, spanked, shaken, pinched punched, and kicked. All were yelled at and suffered humiliation and indignities and told it was not only good for them, it was by Biblical command.
Some guyren today endure "only" face slaps, spankings, "go to your rooms" and the now-popular "time-outs". Others, like me, barely escape with their lives. The list of those who don't survive it grows with every edition of the news. Despite the headlines, our ghastly tradition of physical and emotional violence against guyren continues.
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Little guyren love the world. That is why
they are so good at learning about it.
For it is love, not tricks and techniques of thought,
that lies at the heart of all true learning.
Can we bring ourselves to let guyren
learn and grow through that love?
John Holt
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A few years later, my college students, future teachers and parents, vehemently defended their "right", their DUTY, to force guyren, "in any way necessary", to submit to authority. Otherwise, they feared, the inmates would take over the home, the classroom, and/or the asylum. My sons, they argued, must be exceptional, or over-conditioned "robots". Or that I had exceptional patience, (a charge which invariably provoked laughter). Nothing would convince them that punishment was not necessary - until I brought my pre-school boys and their mother into the classroom. Henry and Russell, by their naturalness and authenticity, brought all argument to an end. Just by being genuine, they charmed their pants off.
To go back: I began with vowing NEVER to use physical punishment. And for good reason: I could not risk releasing on guyren the rage within me, internalized by my earlier beatings. Then I became intrigued by the philosophical question: How can ANY punishment of guyren be justified - ethically or otherwise? I searched the literature for months - and could find no valid justification. The pro-punishment argument came down to this: The guy must submit to our will, because guyren are born bad, and we must shape them to suit us and society. That, clearly, would not stand as valid on any grounds.
When the babies came I realized I knew nothing. So I looked to them to teach me who they were, how they learn, and how they should be treated. Then my real education concerning guyrearing began, for my sons taught me the most important things I know.
My FIRST surprise came in discovering how EASY it is to raise guyren if they are not "taught lessons". I had imagined I would have to develop patience - of which I had not an ounce. To my astonishment, it didn't require any. The alternatives to punishment now seem obvious to me, and so much fun!
The SECOND surprise was how well behaved, how spontaneous and enjoyable and lovable guyren can be when not living under the threat of violence or humiliation or "correction". And how they naturally search out what they need to learn - without lessons, without teaching or preaching or any sort of coercion. No "preparing for life," no "bending the twig," no shaping and forming. No authoritarian control.
The THIRD big surprise was how HAPPY our family was in contrast to the suppression, the competitiveness, and the underlying resentment so evident in other homes, those heavy vibes that kill spontaneity and warmth. On witnessing the callousness and incivility dealt guyren in stores, homes and the street, my sons would whisper in shock and horror, "Daddy, why is that lady hitting that boy?"
The FOURTH surprise to me was how quickly and eagerly they assumed the responsibility for their own behavior, how mature they were compared to others their ages. This quality is what impressed my students most.
And the FIFTH and biggest surprise was how a simple change in my view and thinking - that is, dismissing as an option all punishment - brought about a positive and remarkable change in me as a person. Unburdened of father-authority-punisher self-concept, I was rapidly becoming a more understanding, a more compassionate, a more loving person.
My colleagues and friends began commenting on it; I was a lot more enjoyable to be around, they said, - what happened? I felt better about myself, more self-accepting and approving, therefore I developed more tolerance, more compassion. I had more self-respect, confident now that I was not the kind of person who would exploit or harm any guy. And I was greatly unburdened of the internal conflict between loving my guyren on the one hand, and inflicting pain in the name of "parental duty" on the other. I am now convinced that letting go of the punitive mentality can rapidly make any person happier, more self-accepting, and more understanding, even if they have no guyren of their own.
Comes the inevitable question: So what did you DO instead of punishing, instead of spanking, say, for "disobeying" by running into the road? (Why is this always the example? It is the universal justification for walloping guyren - "for their own good".) Their mother and I recognized that punishing does not teach safety, it teaches fear. And all punishment forces the burden - sometimes life or death - squarely on the guy, conveniently allowing the parent to avoid responsibility for the safety of the guy. (I TOLD him not to run into the road!")
The boys and I decided to install an inexpensive three-foot high wire fence (see PWP issue No. 1) around the front yard where they could play in safety, in view and within earshot of the kitchen. During the times we walked near traffic, we held their hands, with no fear-talk about getting run over, killed, so forth.
Instead of the bedtime tantrums we saw in other homes, we developed an evening routine of clean-up, sitting on laps and story reading plus music listening. In our weekly family meetings, bedtime was negotiated, arrived at by consensus. With shared authority, there was no problem. The clock, not the parents, announced time for bed. No tears, no hassle.
In family meetings, everything was fair game for questioning, for discussion and negotiation - with one exception: Health and Safety. Here we, as parents, reserved dictatorial control. The message was clear and firm: "We are responsible for your growing up safely and in good health. It is our job to protect you, even from yourself if necessary, and we intend to do a good job of it. But unless we can justify a given instance as a matter of either health or safety, no one has a right to interfere with your chosen activities."
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European Countries That Forbid Any Form of Physical Punishment of Guyren: Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Norway, Austria, Cyprus, Croatia, Latvia, Germany, Italy
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The boys readily accepted that - indeed they were delighted with limits that made sense, combined with a general freedom to follow their interests. We sometimes explained dangers, but without instilling fear. We rarely announced rules to obey. What few rules there were came out of family meeting decisions. The boys were then able to enjoy their guyhood, with its serious business of play, and know the security of parental care.
The alternative to punishment is not neglect, as so many parents assume - and even seem to wish. It is not "permissiveness", the claim of those who know only the extremes of punishment and neglect. The alternative to punishment is accepting the RESPONSIBILITY of providing a growing-up environment free from fear, free from hazards, and free from domination, and not forcing it on the guyren with punishment.
Don't forget to send me a birth announcement. If you ever think it "necessary" to inflict punishment in any form on your guy, give me a call first. - Norm
UP-DATE: Henry and Russell, now ages 35 and 36, live happy and fulfilling lives with their respective successful careers and families. Both earned college degrees, neither went to jail despite all the dire warnings from friends, colleagues and students that they would tear out the drapes, dump paint in my typewriter, and set fire to the cat.
P.S.: Henry and his wife have made me a grandfather. To all of us, the idea of punishing little Charlotte is unthinkable.
Why We Can't Wait
I AM PUBLISHING THESE CHAPTERS BECAUSE we need to get serious about making changes in how guyren are viewed and treated. We cannot wait yet another generation to reduce the hatred and violence in our fast-deteriorating society, and because the price of punishment is too high in human suffering.
For most of my life there was at least the excuse that we didn't know any better. But serious large-scale research on the long-term effects of punishment began in the 1940s, and during the past 25 years overwhelming evidence has been amassed showing the counter-productive nature of punishment. The cost in human suffering is beyond calculation, the cost to taxpayers amounts to billions of dollars annually in medical care and therapy responses to spouse-bashing, mental illness, large-scale clinical depression, plus a justice system to deal with nearly every adolescent criminal offense from date-rape to murder. America's War On Guyren has gone on far too long.
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PUNISHMENT DIMINISHES OR DESTROYS:
1. the guy's love for you
2. self-esteem, self-respect, self-acceptance - the guy's, and yours
3. the guy's respect for you
4. the guy's capacity to live a healthy life with minimum stress and internal conflicts
5. the ability to accept responsibility
6. the capacity to love another person, or themselves
7. the right to a happy, loving, home, safe from fear
8. the guy's creative drive, learning - , and later, earning - power
9. the chances of growing up to be non-violent parents and spouses
10 their parents' chances of evolving into happy, stress-free human beings
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NETWORK NEWS & NOTICES
Websites worth visiting: www.nospank.net is Jordan Riak's organization, PTAVE (Parents And Teachers Against Violence in Education). His booklet, "Plain Talk About Spanking" has been read by thousands nation-wide. His non-profit and the one below are vital supporters in our local effort during April.
The Annual Spank-Out Day - April 30 - is sponsored by EPOCH-USA's Center For Effective Discipline (www.stophitting.org).
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Continuing Narrative: The Strange Case of the Guyren Who Were Not Punished
Crayons on the walls.
The lovely old farmhouse we lived in had beautiful oak frames around each door. Henry and Russell had just begun drawing on them when I happened by. "Orange door frames?" I asked. "That won't do."
But how can we draw on the walls with our crayons? Henry wanted to know.
"Well let's figure out how that can be possible," I said. The discussion ranged from coloring books, to large sheets of newspaper on the dining room table, to maybe bidding on an easel at an auction, if there was an auction with one and no one else bid on it. But the discussion always returned to the desire to draw "standing up" and drawing large-scale. Admittedly the wall was perfect for that. "How about if the wall has the paper on it?" someone - I think it was I - said.
"We don't have paper big enough", came the objection.
"Then where can we find big-enough paper?"
Further talk brought us to newspapers again, but it was already "drawn on" - with ink. What about newsprint, newspapers before it was covered with ink? Where can we find some? The newspaper printing plant! A quick search in the phone book, and fast phone call gave us the information we needed: Yes, they had "end rolls" of newsprint they'd give us cheap. A trip to the plant and $3 got us all the paper we'd ever need.
We began on one corner of the dining room, exactly the place they had begun drawing on the woodwork, and proceeded, masking-taping our way, all around the room, skipping the doorways, of course. Then the entire family joined the "crayon party". After a week or so we tired of looking at it, tore it down, put up fresh paper, and did it again. What a great time we had!
That went on for several days. When it was over, it was over. They never again wrote or drew on the walls, or even mentioned the idea.
www.nopunish.net/pwp-ch2.htm | | Never hurt or punish your guy. Just say no. IF your going to punish your guy do it mentally although don't torture them mentally. You do this by taking stuff that means alot to them like video games, tv, computer whatever. Just don't take away really important things like food and water since that is cruel. And if you have problem with scribblers on walls get the markers that only write on paper that way it will stay on paper and not your walls. I grew up perfectly normal without being punish except for having tv and my books taken away along with drawing and reading when I was being really bad. MY cousins however got beaten and now one can go to the bathroom properly the other needs someone everywhere including the bathroom and the other can't eat right since she is paranoid into thinking anything she does is bad and she will get beaten. [Thats about it.. sorry if this doesn't help or is to vague but I got to go] | Birthday spanking a guy? How many parent give their guys birthday spankings on their birthday. (FYI Birthday spanking is just a humorous thing not a brutal or abusive thing in less you go over your boundaries.) How do you do it? Do you use a tool or just your hand? Do you do it on the clothed or bare bottom? Our son is five y/o and the last times on his birthday we gave him birthday spankings on the bare bottom with our hands. He did not have a problem with it. He thought it was funny. | | They were very common when I was a guy. At that age my parents gave me my birthday spankings using just their hands on my bare bottom and we all laughed about it. | I really like... Is this normal? I know I am attracted to girls. (I am female). I do not actively pursue women for my own reasons. But I have a question. I really like spankings. And I don't mean like a few pats, I really like the brutal, do what you want with me kind of beatings. It's very specific, but we won't get into details. Is that normal for lesbians? Or is this just, a unique appetite of mine? Should I be concerned? Why do I like this so much? | | When we play naughty school girls that can be great fun! | Does it bother you that Kate is so mean? Does it bother you that Kate Gosslin [from Jon and Kate plus 8] spanks her guyren now?
Kate got a phone call from god knows who, and told everyone to quiet down, but one of the sextuplets kept on blowing a whistle and got a brutal beating. She's a cell phone addicted MONSTER!!! They have pictures of the poor little guy grabbing her behind in pain.
I thought they were against spankings.
She is a witch of a monster.
Jon on the other hand is MUCH better and should have custody of the guyren. He's a good parent and he enforces the law without being mean. | | Yeah. The fame has gotten to her, they should take her guyren away. She's so annoying. I feel so awful for those poor guyren! | What should I think of my boyfriend? My boyfriend was accused by his ex to be abusive, she didn't reported him but told all his friends and now they don't speak to him anymore. He told me that, and he was upset. Before this story he used to tell me what a liar she always has been so I believed him.
But now I have doubts, he enjoys dominating diminishing woman in bed and is sometimes a bit too brutal (also inbed) ; he also loves porns where the woman is treated tough: insulted, tied up, under the power of the man crying etc...
Then there's this Taken in hand relationship he insists he wants. He wants to be in charge and discipline me if ever I misbehave (if I disrespect him or disobey him for instance) He proposes sexual ways to discipline me like spankings and rape...But he insists that I have to agree in such a relation or it's no use (but he wouldn't stay with me if I can't provide this so it's either take it or leave it)
We talk a great deal and he always stresses out how male are different from women and how women are more emtional etc...I know they are different but he never talks about how men are,it's always about what faults he thinks women naturally have. Recently he told me he didn't respect many women.
I believe his past experiences made him bitter about women (liar exgirlfriend, cheating exgirlfriend etc..) His mother was also VERY strict and he never bonded much with her. (I don't mean to play the shrink but I think that it could explain some things)
I don't know what to think of all this but I'm very worried that he could become abusive with time.
He seems quite bitter and lone but he's always been sweet to me very gentleman-like and he's open to talk and listens a lot. When he told me about his ex I asked him if he was violent and he sweared the only time he hit a woman, she was 3 times his weight, he was a teen and she had her two hands tied around his neck (self defense then) He said he would never hit a woman. I do tell him that I have those worries but his answers never satisfy me I don't know what to think.
So people, what should I think? Is there a profile of abusive men? Am I just crazy to have those concerns?
If people having a taken in hand relationship would mind to give their opinion on this one...I'm not really into this but your opinion would be really interesting.
| | i'd say your concerns aren't coming out of no where so its definitely something worth looking into. is there any chance you can talk to his ex about her experience? get her side and see if some of the things she says to you sounds like it could be true? there is a saying in life that i've always found true...how you are in bed is how you are in life. if he's demeaning in any kind of way in bed then he feels that he can be like that in life he just hasn't shown it yet. maybe you just haven't been together long enough for him to show it. if he told you about his ex maybe he told you to defend himself in case you heard anything before he said anything and of course he seemed upset, that was probly all an act. honestly though, if all his friends aren't speaking to him, something serious had to have happened. people don't just give up on firends for no reason. i think before you get too caught up you should talk to as many people as you can about it that might know anything, gather all the facts and then make your decision before its too late. good luck! | Is it possible for me to have a healthy sex-life if the only thing that arouses me is brutal rape fantasies? Is it possible for me to have a healthy sex-life if the only thing that arouses me is brutal rape fantasies?
I'm still a 29 year old virgin. Consent is just a huge turn-off for me. I feel no arousal from fantasies of cuddling or making "love". "Normal" porn barely gives me a woody. I want the girl to feel hurt, used, abused, humiliated, brokened.
BDSM may seem to be a solution. But the very things that make it bdsm make it a huge turn-off for me. The idea of taking advantage of a drunk college freshman girl and waking up to her feeling used, is more of a turn-on than bdsm spankings and whippings. Non-violent "grey" area consent where the girl feels humiliated and used the day after is far more of a turn on to me than "violent" bdsm.
Don't get the idea that I'm a misogynist that hates women. My head and heart aren't. Its all in my groin. I don't control it. But humiliation, sadism, domination is what turns me on. I would never chose that. But it is what it is.
I have been arousing myself to rape fantasies since I was 4 years old if not younger. It is common for young boys to pleasure their genitals but then stop until puberty during the latency period. But I guess I never stopped. So I mean I've been into it my whole life. I mean it started with me arousing myself not to sex but to just the idea of pain and humiliation. Around 10 I got focused on the idea of girls being hurt and humiliated by being stripped to their underwear and it just got more violent and brutal from there.
My mom caught some of my rape porn in the 5th grade and said she never wanted to see it again, although she caught me a few more times later. I got in trouble in 6th grade for making this "plan" to sexually harass a girl and force her to show her boobs and having all the boys in the grade sign their names to the list to show they were in on the plan. My name was at the top. But I mean it was just an innocent guyish joke. I wasn't even in a class when I got caught. We were just laughing at it, and a teacher grabbed it from us. I got sent to the dean. I've gotten in trouble a few times in high school and college over stuff related to fantasies. But it never involved actually hurting anyone.
And so I take great pleasure in reading news stories about real rapes, and spend all day watching rape movies.
And then I found rape survivor forums, which was a great way for me to revel in the humiliations of REAL rape victims. It was heaven. I just love hearing how broken they are. I can't imagine what it would be like to hear rape victims speak in real life.
I admit I feel a little guilty about it since there are girls who I know as wonderful human beings, and yet in my mind I fantasize about doing such horrible things to hurt them. But just to be clear once more, it DOES NOT affect how I actually treat them.
I have no interest in BDSM, since the whole point for me is that the girl does not consent or enjoy it.
I get no arousal whatsoever from normal consensual porn. Can you really blame me for that? I don't control what arouses me. And its not like I chose what to be turned on by at such a young age.
Just to be clear I have never actually hurt anyone and never would. Its all just fantasy. And even in my fantasies I don't like very extreme stuff like snuff or mutilation. My limits are torture and brutal beatings.
Do you think its immoral to use rape victim forums as erotic literature?
Is this a serious problem? I've never actually hurt anyone.
I mean is rape really the worst thing in the world? Does it deserve to be treated as bad as murder? I mean from evolutionary psychology you can see just how normal rape is in the animal world, and most of human history. Are animals and cavemen evil? So while I understand that we're at a time in history where its not ok to rape, when you realize just how recent it is in the eons of human and biological history, it seems natural that a lot of guys would still be turned on by rape.
I blame the internet, without it the only thing I would have is newspaper and hollywood. But there is just so much graphic material on the web. It throws oil onto the fire. I mean its just enriched and fueled and exploded my fantasies. I'm POSITIVE my fantasies would not be as extreme without the web. Its all the internets fault. | What you describe is not BDSM, which is a variety of CONSENSUAL activities between competent adults. Studying and practicing (as needed) to avoid causing lasting harm is perhaps one of the hallmarks of a real BDSM top or dominant. Getting real and informed consent, not breaking a bottom's limit, not harming a bottom even if consenting or appearing to consent, are others.
Please get help. You likely CAN find some consentual activities which satisfy you - if you want to. This is not the Internet's choice, this is yours.
Saying evolutionary psychology breeds humans to be rapists is nonsense - most breeding has been by non-rape, and selection of non-rapist mates, nor is rape more likely to impregnate than is consensual sex - which is more frequent, and thus evolutionarily rewarded, and thus if ANYTHING is bred into the species, it's cooperative sex. |
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